A difficult choice: if there is a baby, there will be no dog? Parent stories
Increasingly, we have to see joyless announcements: we will give the dog in good hands, excellent-clever-raised, but we have a child and now there is not enough time for the dog.
Of course, the first question that arises from me is what were you thinking about when you took the dog. It must be understood that the dog age, although brief, unfortunately, will last 10-15 years. And the second question is whether it is possible to somehow solve this problem without getting rid of your faithful friend. If the first question, it seems, will remain unanswered, then the mothers who have recently had babies and quite a while ago dogs born in our kennel will help me answer the second question. We talked about the most relevant topics, such as meeting a new family member and a dog, hygiene, walking, the relationship between a child and a dog. As a breeder, I was very lucky with the dog owners. Despite the fact that among them there are no professional trainers and dog handlers, each family has found a way to solve the problems that arise. I hope that the experience shared by Tom, Alain and Julia will be useful to many.
Toma, 28, is currently on maternity leave to care for her son.
Igor, 29 years old, head of the mobile development department.
Daniel, son, 10 months.
Mack (Maclaren My Treasure is on the passport, and for home - Mack or simply Mack, 4 years old).
Alena, 36 years old, on maternity leave.
Konstantin, 38 years old, manager at an IT company.
Yana, 13 years old, a student of grade 7.
Marina, 4 months.
Blaise (Blaise My Treasure, 7 years old)
Julia, 26 years old, on maternity leave with her daughter.
Artyom, 31, senior electrician on the railway.
Vera, the eldest daughter, 4.5 years old, goes to the garden.
Vasilisa, youngest daughter, 7 months.
Nikusha (according to the passport of Evnik My Treasure, 3 years old, in our family from 9 months)
Lyalya, cat, 8 years old
Let's start with the most important - how to introduce a dog to a new family member
The question is very important and delicate and we approached it with particular seriousness. Fortunately, you can now find anything on the Internet. I studied several articles on this topic (there were not very many of them) and we developed a strategic plan of action, which we took advantage of. In our family, for Mac, my husband is the leader. Therefore, when we arrived from the hospital, the first thing Igor came into the apartment with his son in his arms. He gave Mack greet himself and sniff an incomprehensible new package. Then I went in, Mack did not see me for three whole days and was very glad to meet. Thus, we showed the dog that what the leader holds in his hands is of great value to him, and therefore should become a value for Mac. True, a few hours later, when Igor and Mack returned home after a walk, Mack immediately began nervously running around the rooms and looking for a parcel. And when he found it, it was evident that he was slightly saddened. J But now, after ten months, Mack and Dan are still those party people. Danya loves to climb over Mac when he sleeps, and Mack loves when Danya strokes him, gently pinching him.
Blaise is a very calm and good-natured dog; she has never shown aggression to anyone during her lifetime with us. Therefore, we did not wait for the dog to meet the newborn daughter with concern, but only with interest. It turned out like this. When I came in with the baby in my arms, Blaise was delighted with me, because I had not been home for several days. When she saw, felt a new person, she became strange excited - she spun in place, began to scream, which she usually does at especially emotional moments. After that I went to the bed on which I put the girl, sniffed her, and only then calmed down.
We always wanted to get a dog, but this dream came true only when the eldest daughter grew up. When Vera turned 1.5 years old, we took Nick, who at that time was already a nine-month-old teenager.In our case, we were very lucky that Nika was at that age. We did not see her in a plush ball, but we did not encounter problems with toilet training, when we met, she had an already formed character. Nika is a sociable, non-aggressive, social dog raised in love and care.
We are for our dog, we were all new members of the family and the meeting went well, we looked closely at each other and pretty quickly found a common language. Nothing has changed with the advent of the youngest daughter. Nikusha can come to the baby to sniff, even lick her hand, we do not prohibit and do not interfere with their communication. They will have to grow together, be friends, and we hope that they will be good friends.
Hygiene: how to do it right?
I’m generally allergic to cat hair, so in our family a poppy appeared, not Murka. But over time, we realized that the Mac is just an enlarged version of Murka.
Of course, having such a chic dog with golden hair, you often have to clean it - about once every 2-3 days I vacuum and remove the wool from the carpet. But in principle, if you conscientiously comb out a dog for a walk, then you can clean houses much less often. Since Mack is still a domestic dog, I don’t wash my son’s hands right after every time he touches the dog. The main thing is to monitor the dog so that it is clean and well-groomed.
Even before giving birth, I was worried about questions: due to the fact that we have a dog, do I need a special cleaning of the apartment? Does it make sense for the dog to live with our relatives in the first days of the baby’s appearance in the house? I found the answer for myself at the courses for pregnant women, where they said that from birth, the child should immerse himself in the environment in which he will continue to live. Therefore, we do not do anything special in terms of hygiene. This is a usual wet cleaning, the rule “played with the dog - washed his hands”, anthelmintic treatment of the dog.
As for hygiene, everything is elementary, wet cleaning and of course the hygiene of the dog itself, bathing, cutting, combing, and worm treatment.
Oh, well, here we have a whole ritual, which has probably turned into a tradition. Every day, in any weather in the evening, we together the whole family rolls out onto the street - to freshen up before going to bed and ventilate the apartment from us all. On the street, Mack is usually busy with his dog affairs, and Dania or Mack watches or watches passers-by and cars sitting in a wheelchair. We walked for at least an hour, my husband and I usually have time to discuss a lot during this time - and what happened during the day, and plans for the future and in general.
And so, the main part of the responsibility for Mac lies with her husband, so in the morning he walks him himself, carries on haircuts, styling, plays. I usually, as the mother of the family, feed everyone. Of course, I follow the nutrition and Mac as our integral part of the family.
When we took Nika home, she needed to walk 4 times a day. I combined walking and walking with the child during the day, Artem went for walks with the dog in the morning, and in the evening who did it. It was easy for us to combine the child and the dog, we shared responsibilities and are sharing them now.
The relationship of the child and the dog
Here I will generally be laconic, because the real Golden Retriever and aggression are not compatible. I’ll just note that even before the birth of our son, when we were choosing a dog, we certainly wanted someone of the “family type” so that in the future there would be no problems with this very aggression. The only thing that sometimes Mac shows is jealousy, but it’s very sweet such jealousy. J He is always afraid that Igor will forget about him, so when he sees that her husband (by the standards of Mac) has been playing with Danes for too long, he will definitely come to Igor and sit down in his arms - this is 40 kilogram golden happiness.
So that the dog does not have aggression towards children, you need to talk with your kids and explain to them what is possible and what is not. Your pet is a living creature and it can also hurt, it may be in a bad mood or it just wants to sleep.It is necessary to take into account the desires of both parties and try not to leave very young children with a dog unattended.
What was the hardest?
Probably the most difficult were the first two months after the hospital. We were immersed in parental responsibilities, and Mack the dog is very intelligent and will not remind himself once again. Unfortunately, we sometimes forgot to give him dinner, or pour water on time. But Mack bravely endured this period.
Life is generally a complicated thing, but we try to find a compromise and find a way out of difficult situations. With the advent of the second child, Artyom got a morning walk with the dog while I collect the eldest daughter in the garden. And in the evening we try to go out together and walk for a long time in the forest with a stroller. But even the absence of dad at home will not drive us into a dead end, I am a baby sling, and I can easily take a dog for a walk with a six-month-old baby and eldest daughter.
These moments add up to our life, sad and joyful, every day something new - because we have two children, a dog and a cat.
Fun or unexpected situation
Funny situations when you have a dog and a child, it seems to me, arise constantly. Here from the freshest. Somehow we all gathered as a whole family to go to the village - I, husband, husband’s mother, Dania and Mack. They all went out into the street with their knapsacks, loaded their knapsacks, put their son down, sat down themselves, still had time to chat with a neighbor - she was sitting right at the entrance.
In general, they started the car and drove off. Literally after 5 minutes, a neighbor calls and hurriedly says: Guys, you forgot Maka!
How, here's how you could forget such a big dog ?!
And Mack - as he usually does - intelligently sat near the entrance and waited for him to be invited into the car. Of course, we were ashamed.
Before the second girl was born, Blaise liked to lie in such a place in the apartment, from which both my husband and I can be seen. Now, Blaise is only where I am, not a step away from me! Apparently, the smell of breast milk significantly increased my status in her eyes. J
It’s very funny when I show the baby a toy that squeaks. Blaise immediately ran into a squeak, very interested, saying with her whole appearance: “Oh, a toy! I am ready to play! ” I think that very soon we will face the task of how to teach Blaisey to distinguish where her toys are and where her daughters are.
One tip I’m not limited to:
1) if you decide to bring a dog to the family, it is imperative that you select one family member who will take care of the dog under any circumstances. The main thing is that there should not be a situation where each of the family, because of laziness, throws the obligation on each other, for example, to walk the dog and as a result there is no person who does it. And when there is the most important person in charge, then the question is resolved!
2) it’s better to take a dog to the family, or at least a year before planning the children (that is, not yet pregnant J) or even when the children are 5 years old, I think. Because with children there is always a lot of worries, and you can forget about the dog. And she also needs your attention.
3) if you decide to get the first dog, be sure to ask about the difficulties of those who already have it. And imagine yourself in their place. Better yet, ask yourself a question and honestly answer whether you will be ready to walk your pet at any time of the year, in any weather and in any condition (for example, January 1?) And walk not 5 minutes on the lawn near the entrance, but arrange a full walk. And only after that you will understand - do you really need a dog.
From my own experience, I’ll say that if a family already has a small child, and you plan to take a dog, take a bred puppy. Then it will be much easier for you to cope with two babies.
But most importantly, love the animals you have tamed, and don’t give up. There are different problems and situations in life, but they will pass, and the animal, if you give it away, will not be returned back.
We are a family for them, and they are a family for us.
Photo by Yulia Murashkina and Katya Torsunova